True Love

When I was a young child, I fantasized more about love than I did anything else. I pictured the ideal romance. Getting married to my one true love. My heart seemed to explode inside my chest at night as I would fantasize, picturing what it would be like for me one day... Then I realized I was gay.

Way to derail a dream huh??? (joke)

I don't see my dream as derailed NOW (obviously), but I certainly had some difficult times with the whole "love" thing. It's crazy to think and probably even more crazy for others to hear that I dreamed my true love would be with a woman. I really don't have any clue how to explain that so I won't even try, but the point I'm trying to get across is that it was a shock to me when I realized "something is different."

Self-hate was the very first thing I felt, sadly. I'm not the only person to experience that I'm sure. Coming to terms with myself was the first step and it was not easy even after "trying" to come out. Back into a shell of confused unhappiness I went. I knew the truth, but living it was another story for me. I tried to be what everyone else said was normal, but time and time again this proved not to be my niche.

I struggle with acceptance more than anything now; and how I will be able to lead a life that is normal for me (not normal for someone else). Through the years I have been made bitter by the course my life has taken. I went from big dreams of romance to something so polar opposite which was hating myself. That is no way at all to attract love.

I have clarity, though. I have finally learned to be comfortable with myself. This past year, I have really done a lot of growing. The past six months being the most dramatic. I came out to my family. I came out to my workplace (which is the military), and I've learned to accept that sometimes there will be haters. I have realized my place in this world and that I can still dream of awesome, romantic, love.

I believe he's out there and I'm ready more than ever in my life to know him.

My advice for anyone who is struggling with being gay, hating yourself, suffering from non-acceptance or discrimination, or whatever it is...... don't let it deprive you of love. Learn to love yourself, because if you don't love yourself who can? It starts with you and your attitude. Make it a positive and move forward because I definitely believe in true love. Hopefully you all do too. 

My Turkey Day

It all started at 5PM when I knocked on my buddy's door. It was time for us to check out on liberty! The plan was to meet at Sexy City where all my my A&W/Pizza Hut co-workers were going to be celebrating, eat some food close by, and then migrate to Shidax for all-you-can-drink karaoke.

We arrive at Sexy City five minutes late and nobody is there... It was 6:05... So we decide to check the food establishments in close proximity to Sexy City to look for our friends. After popping into about ten different places and finding NOBODY, hardly even one person who wasn't the owner of the place, we settle for Ramen. We knew that everyone was meeting at Shidax at 7:00, so we were planning it out to be early, this was we see them walking in. There would be no way for us to miss them.

We made it to Shidax at 6:50. So we wait until 7:15 and nobody shows up. Seriously WTF-mode at this point. I was seriously looking forward to this whole party with these people... So me and my friend decide that we're not going to let this ruin our fun... We get a room for all-you-can-drink for as long as we want... Which is AWESOME...

We proceed to order as much beer as we can drink and sing our asses off...

Once we're shit-faced and can't sing a single note more, we make our way back to base for more drinking and partying. I think I was drinking something with rum in it... I can't be sure, but after this point, I can't recall much. I know I made it to my bed though. I woke up from a crazy dream about Jenna Marbles... like... wtf... WHY IS JENNA MARBLES IN MY DREAMS!?!? I was like "Arn't you in India or something?" and she's like "Nah... I'm in Japan bitch!" Then I wake up horrified that I was dreaming about her... I love Jenna, but no... just... no... Stay out of my dreams!

If my coworkers had shown up, I Jenna would not have crashed my dreams. This is all their fault.

Turkey Delight

Thanksgiving is here. Here's a list of things I am thankful for: (in no particular order)

- That I'm alive and well.
- That I have such a wonderful family.
- That I have true friends and wonderful people all around me who give me so much to look forward to each day.
- That I've been through hard times and that I learn each day from my trials
- That I can play the guitar and sing
- That I've got a tasty alcoholic beverage to drink whilst blogging tonight
- That I have two jobs when a lot of people don't even have one.
- That no matter how far from home I am, I can reach out to those I love (gotta love technology)
- That I live in a world were we can change the things we don't like about the way things are.
- That I've grown so much spiritually.
- That I still don't regret a single tattoo on my body! lol
- That no matter how bad things get in my life, I have a mindset to push forward
- That God doesn't hate me, and I finally believe that.
- That I came out of my depression.
- That I gained 15 pound instead of losing it (even though it's probably beer weight, lol)

I could go on for so long about the things I am grateful for. I could probably write non-stop this whole 96 hours and never finish.

What are you all thankful for? How many things can you write down in 10 minutes? Try it and see what you come up with. Maybe you think life is terrible or that stuff is just dragging you down lately, but if you take the time to just write these things down for 10 minutes, I'm positive you will feel better.

This Thanksgiving holiday, truly look deep inside yourself and realize what you have. Don't take a single thing for granted because this life is too short and there are so many people in this world that have much, much less.

And on that note, take time out of your holiday to help someone. Don't just BE thankful, but gives others something to be thankful for. Reach out and touch someone's heart. Don't you recall that warm fuzzy feeling when it gets to be this time of year; especially when you're a kid??? It's not that you've grown out of it. It's still there ONLY if you're willing to see it, to feel it. No matter where you are, how dismal things may seem, there is a reason to be happy, to seek love, to lone another, to take a chance, to make a wish, to get excited, to be overwhelmed with anticipation of good times. It's all there, and it works best is we share it with everyone.

Have a terrific Thanksgiving everyone. <3'a 4 Ever!

Teen Sentenced 25 years for Killing Gay Student

California teen admits killing gay student, to serve 25 years

When I first read about the shooting, I was pretty emotional about it. I am also not sure if I agree with how this has all played out. When a young teenage student brings a gun to school and kills another student, that's crazy enough, but the manner in which this kid did it is especially disturbing to me.

In the middle of computer lab, the shooter gets up and shoots the kid in the back of the head. The teacher turns to see what happened, not realizing it was a gunshot she had just heard. "What are you doing?" she inquired the young shooter, not sure what she's seeing. Again, he shoots the kid a second time in the back of the head. I don't know how you perceive that, but that is some cold, sadistic shit!

How people can rally to the defense of the shooter is beyond me. He may be a child, but he is also a killer! Hopefully we don't grant children a pass when it comes to killing one another just for the sake of them being young. If your child has yet to understand that murdering innocent people is not okay by the time they're a teenager, your child has major issues or you're a failure as a parent.

The article says he 'admits' to killing the boy. I'm sure he did that out of the best interest of the person he killed and his family; not his own good for possibly getting a lesser sentence.

I find myself thinking "what if I was the one who was killed?" or "what if it was my family, friend, or lover?" What kind of justice would I want? None could bring that person back, but I won't hesitate in saying I would have wanted the maximum sentence, even if the killer was a teenager.

The Word Faggot

For those of you who don't know, the word "faggot" or any way the word can be used, is an extremely offensive word. I do not tolerate it much the same as I do not tolerate the N-word. I don't even like to type the N-word!

Etymology aside, I am sure most would agree that the word faggot is a slur against homosexual men.

I am completely aware of the "sticks and stones" argument. It need not apply, honestly. Let's think for a moment. Why would a person refrain from using certain language? The answer is simple. Respect! Such a thing that is so desired, but seldom practiced by those who demand it. Could it be that people just don't understand what respect is either? I hope not.

As civilized human beings, we should operate on the basis of mutual respect. Doesn't that ring so much of "the golden rule?" Even Jesus thought it was a great idea! And who can't agree to something like this? For what greater good could a person possibly aspire that neglecting this concept would achieve anything?

We are all different. That's where respect comes into play. Though we may not agree, practicing mutual respect ensures a healthier environment for both parties. We all have this one world to live in and it simply is not right to hurt one another.

It isn't about being thick-skinned or not. It isn't about outlawing language. It isn't about religion or trying to change people. It is simply respect.

GLBT Parents, Children, Marriage

About 8-10 million children are being raised by gay parents... Let that ferment a little in the old noodle for a minute.

You might be surprised that there are people who don't even know homosexual couples can adopt and raise children in the United States. Regardless of your own personal beliefs (however well-founded they may be) there a plenty of healthy children living healthy lives with monogamous gay couples; and not just living, but being raised by gay parents. How can you oppose to such a healthy family? How can you judge them? How can you withhold their rights as American citizens?

A lot of people argue that their efforts in opposing gay marriage is for the greater benefit of the children. On what basis are you staking that claim that same sex couples cannot effectively raise children? And furthermore, how is withholding rights and promoting a discriminatory climate towards homosexuals hurting those children your argument claims to care so much about? Do you realize that children of same sex couples are doing just as well if not better than those of heterosexual parents? It may be contrary to that (well or not well-founded) personal belief of yours, but you can't argue without knowing the facts.

A twelve-year old girl, who is raised by two moms, spoke out to vermont legislators on the issue of gay marriage with success. She argues a valid point and makes it clear that she is affected by the discrimination that is the current law. If we can't set aside our differences and accept one another as adults, it is the worst example for our children. I have faith that they will see the truth and that the next generation will right the wrongs that are set in place by our laws. As free Americans, it should be our duty to fight against discrimination because all men are created equally. A child can understand that.

As for words, "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me." When was the last time a word hurt you? Then why is it that so many people think the real issue is about a word; marriage? I laugh myself silly when people get so bothered by the idea that gays will be able to marry. Those who oppose will say it makes their marriage less and deprives their marriage of its meaning. GIVE ME A BREAK! I don't see how if I get married, that it will destroy another person's marriage or make it weaker. If it does, your marriage must have already had some major issues.

It has always been about RIGHTS. Americans have rights... Gay Americans, have less... and that goes against the ideals set in place by those who came before us. A free country does not include discrimination of any kind. You can have the word, but I want my rights just as millions of GLBT do too.

As for getting married in churches (for gay marriages), what is the huge problem? Some people are not aware or they just refuse to be aware that there are MANY interpretations of scripture and a wide variety of churches across the US accept their homosexual brothers and sisters. You don't have to agree with the way I see it or even that way your pastor sees it. It's scripture that deserves study and devotion to interpretation and understanding. That is a personal journey that doesn't involve YOU agreeing with it. You will say I am an abomination before the Lord, but from that same light you're also condoning slavery, stoning children, and a myriad of other odd things. I'm sure you don't realize it, but there is some merit to that statement. Just read Leviticus.

In short, what I'm saying is that we are not "THERE" yet. This free country is only on its way to being truly free. As long as the law discriminates and old ideals impede the lives of not just homosexual adults, but children who are not even sexual yet,  we have a lot of work to do.

Will you suffer the 8-10 million children to discrimination as well?

TV The Educator!

Alright, so this is pissing me off...

For years and years now, we have allowed the TV to raise our children. Tell me it's not true when you "just need a minute" and you end up letting your three year old watch Dora The Explorer for a few hours while he/she tinkers with a mess of toys or just gazes perplexed by the colors and songs on the tube... Tell me that is NOT a good indicator for the child where he/she should get the vast majority of the education from. What about the average american? How many hours do you watch TV per day? That's great and all, but what about the kids watching you watch TV all the time? Don't be surprised when they want to watch it too.

So now that Dora can teach out kids spanish while we're picking up medical lingo watching House, or maybe we're getting our history on the History Channel, why do we feel so inclined to blame the TV for teaching our kids the wrong things?

Seriously... After years of subjecting your child to an understanding that the TV is a wealth of entertainment and even knowledge, why are you going to all of a sudden complain when it "gets out of hand." Isn't the TV supposed to be something that entertains you? NOT teaches you...? Granted, you CAN learn from it, but this IS NOT the singular source of all knowledge, especially knowledge you would give to you child.

Let's break it down to WHY I'm pissed off... I read an article about teen sex on TV and how hollywood is brainwashing our kids to have premarital sex or even PEER PRESSURING them... Yes. The article referred to the TV as the greatest form of peer pressure.

Here's what I have to say... STOP COMPLAINING! If you don't want the TV to teach your kids, you'd better get back to parenting. You've had a long vacation America. Now it's time to get real. DO YOUR JOB. You should know what's out there in the world. Don't be surprised when your lazy parenting bites you in the ass and the TV gets to the sex talk before YOU do.

And let's not kid ourselves either... You could beat the shit out of your kid with the King James Bible every day of their life, but it won't keep them from having sex before your want them to. You could do a myriad of different things to keep it from happening, but it's GOING TO HAPPEN. Not every kid has sex before marriage, but let's face it... DID YOU?!?! The statistics are that if you're married and reading this, you did have premarital sex. So don't beat yourself up for being a hypocrite. Being a parent will do that to you.

Technology is a great thing... You can block certain TV shows. Did you know that??? Don't just label the TV as the the biggest peer in your kids life. If you allow that to happen, that's your fault.

Ok... I think I'm done ranting.... for now.

Suicide & Bullies

Words for the bullied:

You're not alone. I know it might seems as if you're the only one, but you're not; and furthermore, you're not alone because there are millions of people who care about this issue and are doing everything they can to correct the problem. Stay strong and reach out!

When I was in school, I was bullied. I was constantly picked out of the bunch as the kid who deserves this negative attention. They called me names: dork, four-eyes, geek, nerd, faggot, etc... I was chased. I was harassed daily. Thankfully I was never assaulted any further than being tackled to the ground once. It was broken up before it could get too far. I was pulled out of public school by my parents because the school refused to do anything about it. Even the school had a terrible position, saying to my Mom "look at the way you dress him" and "of course he's going to be picked on with that backpack." The school was the one who sent out letters to parents about buying rolling backpacks because kids were developing back problems due to carrying heavy books around all the time. Trust me, I have been affected by this issue and I know I'm not the only one. Neither are you!

Please, don't let yourself believe that it's the end of the world. If you're having thoughts of suicide, tell your parents. Tell the school. there are plenty of numbers you can call and someone WHO REALLY CARES will be on the other end of the line. It's not wrong to feel terrible about being bullied. It's not wrong to feel very depressed about it. Everyone has to ask for help some day. Remember that YOU are not the one who is WRONG. There is hope and "this too shall pass."

Words for the bullies:


Do you realize what you are doing?

There are kids who have taken their own lives because they are being bullied. Maybe you have never felt terrible enough to consider suicide, but it's a really dark place and it's REAL. What you do is only pushing people closer to that terrible decision. Granted, there are people who don't commit suicide and they're able to take what you dish out, but how unfair is it even then to subject somebody to this? What great benefit is there to treating people like dirt? I promise that it will not help you advance any farther in life. It only increases the likelihood that you will be responsible in some way for the death of an innocent person. Do you really want blood on your hands?

I heard a story told by a former bully. He tells the story of how their was a kid everyone thought was homosexual. He and his friends would torment this kid on a daily basis. This kid would not shower with the other guys when gym class was over. He would wait until they were gone so he could shower. He thought he would be able to dress by himself when he was finished showering, but the bullies were waiting to whip him with towels until he cried. They called him all the names in the book. They made him an outcast. Imagine how alone and depressed this kid feels. He can go nowhere without having to be fearful of an attack. Who would be around the next corner to do something to him? He never knew but would always expect it. It was a daily occurrence for him. One day, this former bully did not go to school. His friends were not going to stop bullying this kid, though. On this day, they waited for the kid while he was showering then beat him while he was naked. All of them urinated on this kid. The next day, everyone went to school as usual except for one person. The kid who had been urinated on in the showers, who had been bullied every day of his school life, had taken his own life that night. Now it was finally clear to them what kind of damage bullying can do. A former bully, to this day, will never forget that face or what he has done. He will never be able to take back his terrible actions which lead to the death of a child. He will never be able to apologize or reconcile any of this because this poor kid is no longer with us.

There a probably a million and one things that would motivate you in bullying a person, but nothing can justify it. There is nothing righteous about treating a person like this. Granted, you may have problems of your own. You might even think ending your life is a better way out sometimes. I beg you to understand that bullying is not the answer. I beg you also to get some kind of help for your own pains. Don't let these things get too far. Everyone deserves a fair chance, a fresh start, and to not grapple with fear and pain while just starting out in life.

A message to parents:


Nobody can tell you exactly how to handle this issue. These are your kids and you know them better than anyone. Who else has been there since day one? Surely, you will never forget your child's first day of school. You are the first line of defense in this issue. Encourage your kids to talk to you about this. Do your best to make sure your kids are not bullying others. However you can best accomplish educating them about this, do your best. The last thing we need is for out schools to be a breeding ground for fear.

The Agenda?

Okay. So this is the silliest shit I have heard in a long time. Apparently, I have been way out of the loop on an agenda to reek havoc upon society... There are a couple varied lists of to do's that I have found on the internet regarding "the gay agenda." Basically, the way people talk about this agenda, makes it seem as if striving for any form of equality is proof that we're out to get the world. We as in homosexuals... It's a terrible idea created by conservative groups who would not allow equality; and to insure no such thing is granted to me or others like me, they employ ridiculous scare tactics like "the gay agenda."

Let's just get one thing clear... There is no sinister plot for the ruin of all the world via equality for gays.

Hopefully nobody I know takes this crap seriously. I promise I've never recruited anyone. I never hand out fliers scribed "Be Gay Today - I'll Show You How." I'm not rallying kids and doing some kind of voodoo hex to make them gay. Seriously, the ideas that comprise people's idea of a gay agenda are a complete farce. Here's what I want...

1.) Equality
2.) A Family
3.) A beach body all year round

It's nothing sinister. I imagine that a lot of people have a list similar to mine. Maybe some already have a couple of these things, but right now I have none of the above. I am developing a layer of flab that's not so appealing to me (though I only wight 138 lbs). I have blood relatives, but not so much as a significant other that I can bring home to them (even if they would tolerate such a thing). And I damn sure don't have equality. All men are supposed to be treated equally, but I suppose (like happiness) that it involves pursuit. Don't let these assholes make you believe that there's an evil plot afoot. It's just crazy conservative bullshit.

Last Night

I purchased a bottle of Sky Vodka and plenty of Red Bull to accommodate my pre-game plans. It worked out swimmingly of course. Honestly, I was almost drunk by the time I got to the bar! This certainly makes it easier on my wallet in the long run.

When I got to the bar, I learn that they're out of Red Bull. This means no more Red Bull & Vodka for me. I must choose something else to drink. KCT's and some other fruity drink. I was drunk enough to pull this one with the bartender: "I like my alcohol like I like my men. Strong and fruity." She laughed, but it could have been one of those "OMG. What a douche-bag." kind of laughs. I didn't care because at the end of it, the drinks were delicious.

So now that I'm good and drunk, playing pool and whatnot, I make a poor decision. It's country song after country song and I'm about ready to pull my fucking hair out. So I go over to the other pool table closest to the jukebox and I inquire who was picking all of this country.

I was directed to a squirrelly guy with glasses. Now, I can't recall exactly how the conversation got this far, but I do remember saying that his country music could suck my dick... Oops... One thing you never tell a country man... is that his music can suck your dick. It's just not nice at all. This guy was seconds away from throttling me with his pool stick.

Realizing that I had offended him, I apologized and carried on. Later he bought me a drink and apologized for getting so upset and we played a round of pool together. He goes on to tell me how he's southern baptist raised and that I'm going to hell. I'm thinking... Great. I probably deserve this from the country music comment earlier.

I learned from this experience that a shit-faced homosexual can quote more scripture than the damning southern baptist. It really wasn't the time or place for this kind of thing so after a few minutes of getting nowhere with this guy, I finished the game of pool and left.

I return to my room and proceed to pass the fuck out... End of story. The moral of it would probably be not to insult the music people listen to, especially when everyone is really drunk... That's all I've got though.

Question for the gay guy...

Sex talk is a great thing. Let's be honest. We all love to talk about sex. Whoever doesn't like sex talk, probably hasn't had any or much at all in their lives; and if they did, it probably wasn't that great or interesting. For those who hate sex talk, please get over your ultraconservative attitude and just try to enjoy it for once. You'll probably learn something!

For me, being an openly gay man, I get a lot of ridiculous questions. When I wasn't openly gay, I bit my tongue on a number of occasions while listening to straight people have sex talk. Some crazy ideas are floating around out there and it's high time we clear them up. This might reduce the frequency of stupid questions hopefully.

#1: So... If we hooked you up with a 10, and you didn't have to do anything to get her in the sack (she just jumped right it), would you stop it?

My immediate answer is YES. Not only would I stop it, I'd be fighting the impulse to cunt-punt her across the fucking room. I don't care if she's a 10! I don't care if she does all the work and I just happen to be a magnet to a perfect 10. What the fuck?!

To explain a little further, I usually throw this one back at the inquirer.

So... If I hooked you up with a straight up 10, GQ model-looking kind of guy, and he just jumped in the sack giving you the best head you've every had in your life, would you stop it?

OF COURSE, they would stop it! I wonder why that is? Could is perhaps be that they're NOT gay? I think that just might be the case here; and in that same light, this perfect 10 I'm supposed to be hooked up with has a vagina... and tits... Please tell me that makes the point clear enough because I'm one step shy of drawing out in crayon for some people.

#2: So you're gay? So you've never been with a women before?

As a gay man, I don't see what this question has to do with anything. YES. I have been with women before, but that was my journey; things I had to do to figure out how my shit worked. Any straight man has done the exact same thing, but probably not with a man.

Some guys don't like getting head. They just don't get into it at all. Just the same as some girls love to give head and some of them find it repulsive. It's a simple explanation of that just being what makes their shit work.


Now, the term "making shit work," I have used time and time again. Have you ever been with a girl, knowing your A-game was not going to be there? It just wasn't going to be that rock solid porn star hard on you needed to be at 100%, right? You probably still fucked, but it wasn't that great. Maybe it was your fault? Maybe it was her fault? Maybe it was a combination of the two? You probably know what it was.

Things that make my shit not work would just so happen to include vagina or the lack of a cock. Pure and simple. If I were to reach "the moment of truth" with a perfect 10, my shit will not work. I've had a girl suck on my dick for a long period of time before to no avail. First of all, that is embarrassing. Second of all, I felt bad for her. Plainly, shit didn't work out.

So hopefully we've clarified that even if a gay man has been with a women, it doesn't make him any less gay. It probably just strengthened his resolve in that men was the right choice.

This didn't include men that have never been with women, but I'll include that in the final question for today.

#3: He/She is not gay because he/she has not been with the right man/women yet.

Not a question, I know, but it's something gays and lesbians get all the time.

Attraction is a funny thing. Straight and gay alike, we all are attracted to different things even if we share the same sexuality. Some straight guys will not be turned on by a particular race, height, or weight. So many factors go into "getting the shit to work." It's as simple as that.

A heterosexual has sex with the opposite gender and has the greatest experience of their life. For them, that seems to be all the affirmation they need to consider themselves heterosexual. As a gay man, I will never say that the guy just hasn't been with the right guy. That's crazy talk. Why do homosexuals warrant this kind of ridiculous question? If you tell me your favorite color is red, I'm not going to tell you that you need to give blue a try and it's the bomb. You've already been attracted to red so why bother? Why lie about being attracted to red? It's silly.

I heard today that a lesbian isn't really a lesbian. She just hasn't gotten dicked down the right way yet. That's just garbage. I know it for a fact to be 100% false.

If you ask a lesbian why, she'll probably describe that sense of security that she feels with her partner. She may go on to explain the loving feelings she has and how that even amplifies her sexual experience. If she were to be with a guy, she wouldn't get that same sense of security and those loving feelings that make it great. At what point do you want your sexual experience to be so-so or shitty? Most people want it to be great and I'm not different.

There is no point in pretending to be of a certain sexuality. Naturally, we all want sex to be great. We go for what makes our shit work. It's not rocket science. It's sex gay, straight, or otherwise.



Hopefully I've covered some ground with these radical questions. I know there are tons more, but I don't have the time to get into them. There will be more to come; and as I have them asked to me, I won't hesitate to clear it up here and share the experience.

Now go have some great sex or something...

What Fun?

I can't get over it. The Marine Corps idea of fun is so twisted and wrong!

To clarify a few things, I am deployed with the Navy to Iwakuni, Japan. Basically, a handful of sailors deploy to a Marine Corps base for six months because the Navy decided to deploy a squadron of F18 Super-hornets here. We (the handful of sailors who are not in the squadron) are sent to pick up the slack for the intermediate level maintenance command. They break it, remove the bad component, and send it to us where we fix it.

The saddest part of all this is that the handful of sailors fixing this crap are not attached to a Navy command directly. This basically means that the Marines get to have us.

Mom and Dad are going on their vacation so they drop the kids off at Grandma's house. Grandma has bingo practice for the whole weekend so she decides to let the weird next door neighbor watch the kids. Granted, that's kind of messed up, especially if she didn't tell Mom and Dad, but this is how it works. The next door neighbor is in charge and has the kids doing all sorts of things they don't do, EVER; odd jobs for no apparent reason, whether or not the job makes any sense in the first place.

This is what it's like to be a sailor here, but it lasts for six months; not just a weekend.

Getting back on topic, the definition of fun has been seriously destroyed here. Wake up at 4:30 AM, put on pants, undershirt, and steel-toe boots. Now proceed to stand around in a disorganized fashion and freeze your ass off. Run. Run. Then keep running. Continue being disorganized and freeze your ass off some more. Spectate random competitions like tug-o-war whilst freezing your ass off. Make sure that you're starving because you had to meet up for all this nonsense before the chow hall even opens. Continue to starve, freeze, and be perpetually disorganized and bored until you have to go to work. Everyone else who paid 70 bucks for tickets to the Marine Corps Ball (even though it doesn't cover drinks), have fun with the rest of your day; even though we have all had so much fun already.

This is not fun, Marines. You need to reevaluate your whole way of thinking because I assure you that it is completely fucked.